When I was a little girl, and I was just starting to get to know the women who my Dad was married to for some 20 years. She laughed at the idea of her being the "STEP MOM". She actually made a big deal over the years how she was, jokingly the evil step mom. In most of all the stories that we read, or watch, the step mom is there to suck the vitality out of the young beautifully tom boyish/hyper intelligent daughter. I am not sure if this "joke" fueled some of our conflict resolutions circles, but what I do know now was it was us up against labels.
I AM. I am Rachael Lanehart Vaessen, daughter of divorced parents Linda and Robert Vaessen. I spent the majority of my life as a step daughter, step grand-daughter, and a step sister. For a long while I really disliked all of these labels. I really did not even like my name until I was 20 years old. Family was confusing to me as a child. Relationships were something that you forced, and made happen for the betterment of the whole. All I knew was, I had a bunch of adults in my life who were as far as I could see bat shit crazy!
Now I AM a mother. My oldest daughter is 5 at this point, and these labels have become very important to her. My "partner"/"playmate"/"baby's Daddy" who we live with, is not ok with any kind of labels. He is very much against labels, at home or outside of the home. Here is my 5 year old who watches movies at her Granny's, who reads stories at school, and talks to her class mates about all things regarding, gender roles, step families, being married before having a baby, and a bunch of other enlistments that I choose not to subscribe to! Please help me High Source of Love and Grace navigate this one! It can be very confusing when we are receiving all kinds of messages from the people who we are surrounded by.
I do my best to explain to her the flavor of our family, and we can have our own unique phrasing for who is who. I do not want to create a resistance or power struggle. I also do not want to jeopardize my own personal beliefs just because it is easier to keep up with the Jone's. I have my own identity that exceeds, the limitations of confiding in one or more labels. I AM FREE! However I do like I AM MOTHER. It feels good. It also feels good to teach my daughters that each family has its unique flavor.
I can share that the most helpful tool in putting the pieces together for our family has been to stay in communication and create family experiences for us to do together. My oldest daughter and youngest daughter's fathers together with me, and of course we throw a Grandpa, Omi, Granny, Sue Sue or long time friend in the mix. One thing is for sure, it always taste good when we are allowing ourselves and each other to be their own unique flavor of love. Try that on for size!
We have all scanned the magazine rack on our way through the check out at the grocery. A headline that I think we are all becoming familiar with is "Self-Care". But today I want to share with you how Soul-Care can be an antidote for almost any dis-ease or stress in the mind, body or spirit.
Culturally, we have become a society that fights. We fight each other, we fight our parents/kids, and we are doing this because we are fighting ourselves! We are resisting our "higher selves", resisting our "gut feeling", we resist because the animal body that we live in is deviant by nature. When we Soul-Care we become more available to listening to our inner-compass, and we no longer have to fight anymore. We are in flow, we are creating, we are content!
The Soul, in simplest description, is like a finger print in the shape of a star. It houses our DNA blueprint and it accounts for our life lessons we are to attract in this life time. In order to step more fully into our life's purpose and our authentic self, we need these lessons. When we Soul-Care we are able to learn these lessons with grace. This is important because we all need you to be you! We each have a unique flare/edge/tone/hue that expands the whole collective consciousness. Our Soul offers us insights in how to become "I AM" individually brilliant and collectively woven.
15 Ways I Care For My Soul
How Do I Know I AM Caring For My Soul?
These are ways I care for my Soul. I know that these experiences care for my Soul because I feel presence in my heart. I feel lite, and full of light. I am no longer thinking, I am only being. When we are caring for our soul. we are loving ourselves. We no longer have time or availability to fight. That fight is in our muscle memory because it is a coping mechanism that we created in order to protect our human body. Our human body is fragile. Our soul is beyond our carbon, and one day crystalline make-up. Caring for our Soul gives us awareness in how to access the "how to"/answers within. When we pay attention to ourselves, we can stay informed on how to keep our bodies and mind strong, we can then endure the pressures of our worldly life. Stress is only a response to how we relate and respond to pressure.
May we all take CARE of all aspects of ourselves, and shine like diamonds for all the sky to see.
Please share in the comments below how you do your Soul-Caring! What does it look like for you, we are all curious to share!